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"I am the Earth"
The first painting I ever painted in New Zealand. This
wasn't planned. I didn't have a concept or a series in mind. I had just
emigrated from South Africa to New Zealand with my parents and my sisters, and
I was homesick in that deep, physical way where your body misses a continent. So
I painted Africa. Not the postcard Africa. The feeling of Africa. The warmth,
the dust, the quiet strength that stays with you.
She is in a restful pose, her neck rings catching the light. And she looks
directly at you. Not past you, not performing for you — at you. Steady.
Unflinching. There's no sadness in her eyes, no drama. Just presence. A deep,
ancient calm that says, "I am still here. You can leave, but I don't leave
you. "That's how Africa felt to me then.
Even 7,000 miles away in a new,
green, cold country, she was still looking at me. Technically, this painting
was also the start of something very important for me as an artist. I wanted to
see if I could paint a black face with all the colours — blues, purples,
oranges, teals, warm reds — and still make it look completely natural,
completely true.
Because dark skin is never just brown. It holds the whole
spectrum.
It holds the sky and the earth at once. Look closely at her cheek,
her forehead, the shadow under her lip — you'll see violet, aqua, burnt sienna,
ochre, all breathing together. I was trying to prove to myself that colour
could be honest.
This is a quiet painting, but it's my most emotional one. It
holds the ache of leaving and the love that doesn't leave. It was the bridge
between two homes. The first time I put down roots in New Zealand was by
painting the soil I came from. For anyone who has ever missed a place so much
it felt like a person.
3 years later I
emmigrated to Melbourne Australia by myself and started out as a
waitress. Some of the bosses in the food service sector could be a
little nasty for no good reason. When I was feeling bad about myself I
would remember this painting, her face and that I had brought her to
life with paint and felt a little bit better.
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